Oliver Perez battles the forces of evil.

dunno if we’re going to get to a game 7 and i don’t mean to sound presumptuous in that regard, but you gotta go with oliver perez.

he’s young and wreckless and lefty and throws 95 … give him the shortest leash (obviously) and besides it’s not like willie’s had a particularly long leash with anybody this postseason … only a young’in like oliver can take the mound without a care in the world and just go after guys without "the moment" hanging like a black cloud over the mound … a grizzled veteran can also do it but ours are all mummified in trainer’s tape.

scott speizio (spelling?) is like kenny rogers with a better attitude … i’m a NY’er and in my roto league kenny rogers simply went by the name Satan … allow me to explain … we had mets fans and yankees fans among others, and the only thing we could all agree on is that kenny rogers was sent by the forces of darkness to destroy all enjoyment of baseball for NY baseball fans of all races, creeds and colors.

the man did his best ed whitson impression for the yanks and then ripped my heart out by walking in the series-winning brave in the playoffs … when he got uppity with that photographer i thought it was because the photog got a shot of kenny’s spear-shaped tail or red trident.

now he’s morphed into a lefty modern day combo of bob gibson and jack morris and (while i respect the cards) i see him waiting in the bushes for my beloved mets after vanquishing the yankees in the alcs (ok, i totally enjoyed that but that’s how darkness works, from the inside).

back to speizio … redhead with redbeard … c’mon, all he’s missing is that red trident.

paranoid, perhaps … but when los mets take the field tonight i’m gonna have the old rosary beads in hand … maybe a garlic clove necklace and i guess those mini-bats from shea could double as wooden stakes.



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